Marriage

 

Marriage is a relationship

Marriage is an eternal concept. It is meant to be a loving, intimate, selfless relationship between a man and a woman that lasts through eternity.

 

A relationship of love

The Bible teaches, “Husbands, love your wives” (Ephesians 5:25) and “teach the young women … to love their husbands” (Titus 2:4). Love in marriage can be deeper and more selfless than in any other relationship. It is this type of love that Jesus expects of His followers, and it is the virtue that couples need the most.

 

A relationship of intimacy

Marriage involves spiritual, emotional, and physical closeness. In the Old Testament, we are taught, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). Married couples are meant to be unified in every possible way.

 

Sexual intimacy is an expression of love that brings happiness and unity into a marriage. It is also the power by which married couples can “multiply, and replenish the earth” (Genesis 1:28). Intimacy is a blessing that can lead to the incomparable joy of children as part of the eternal family unit.

 

A relationship of selflessness

The Savior taught, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). Couples can learn a powerful lesson from this teaching. As a spouse, you are expected to essentially lay down your old life and to sacrifice many of your personal desires for your closest friend—your husband or wife. The more you are able to put your spouse first and keep your focus on the success of your partnership, the stronger your marriage will be.

 

Marriage is a commitment

Most marriages are founded on love—but it’s choosing to maintain and grow that love that can be the challenge. That’s where commitment comes in. God considers marriage to be an agreement between a husband and a wife as well as a commitment between the couple and Him. He expects us to dedicate ourselves to the relationship, and to recognize our responsibilities, duties, and loyalties both to our spouse and to God. The scriptures can teach us how to do that.

 

Be patient

Marriage can require hard work. But remembering that it’s founded on love gives us direction. “Above all things have fervent charity among yourselves,” counsels Peter in the New Testament, “for charity shall cover the multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8). You’ll make mistakes. Your spouse will, too. Be patient and considerate of each other. Take on the hard times in your partnership “with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:2–3).

 

Be joyful

It isn’t your spouse’s job to make you happy all the time. Both of you need to work to cultivate happiness in your marriage. So take time to talk, to laugh, to have fun. “Rejoice with the wife [or husband] of thy youth” (Proverbs 5:18) and “live joyfully with the [spouse] whom thou lovest all the days of [thy] life” (Ecclesiastes 9:9).

 

Be kind

Being married means you’ll see every side of your spouse: the good, the bad, the strengths, the flaws. Help build your partner’s confidence. Give strength to his or her weaknesses. Give compliments instead of criticism. “Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32).

 

Marriage is ordained of God

God instituted the husband-wife relationship as an equal partnership with Adam and Eve (see Genesis 2:24). Marriage is central to God’s plan for our happiness during this life and our eternal happiness in the life hereafter.

 

Marriage is essential to God’s plan

Your life here on earth has a purpose. You are here as part of God’s plan. Before any of us were born, we existed in heaven as spirits. God created this earth so that we could have an opportunity to have physical bodies and to learn and grow. When we get married, we are given the sacred opportunity to bring children into this world, and we take on the solemn responsibility to care for them. Because God loves His children, He wants each one of us to receive love, support, and care. This happens best through an honest and devoted marriage.

 

How does the Church view divorce?

The Church believes that God, the author of marriage, established it as a permanent union. When two people marry, they form an unbreakable bond. Jesus himself taught that marriage is permanent (Matthew 19:3-6), and St. Paul reinforced this teaching (see 1 Cor 7:10-11 and Eph 5:31-32). The Church does not recognize a civil divorce because the State cannot dissolve what is indissoluble

 

For a marriage to be valid, it is required that: (1) the spouses are free to marry; (2) they are capable of giving their consent to marry; (3) they freely exchange their consent; (4) in consenting to marry, they have the intention to marry for life, to be faithful to one another, and be open to children; (5) they intend the good of each other; and (6) their consent is given in the presence of two witnesses and before a properly authorized Church minister. Exceptions to the last requirement must be approved by Church authority.

 

Marriage can exist only between a man and a woman?

Marriage, as both a natural institution and a sacred union, is rooted in God’s plan for creation. The truth that marriage can only exist between a man and a woman is woven deeply into the human spirit. The Church’s teaching on marriage expresses a truth, therefore, that can be perceived first and foremost by human reason. This truth has been confirmed by divine Revelation in Sacred Scripture.

 

Why can marriage exist only between a man and a woman?

The natural structure of human sexuality makes man and woman complementary partners for expressing conjugal love and transmitting human life. Only a union of male and female can express the sexual complementarily willed by God for marriage. This unique complementarily makes possible the conjugal bond that is the core of marriage.

 

Why is a same-sex union not equivalent to a marriage?

A same-sex union contradicts the nature and purposes of marriage. It is not based on the natural complementarily of male and female. It cannot achieve the natural purpose of sexual union, that is, to cooperate with God to create new life. Because persons in a same-sex union cannot enter into a true conjugal union, it is wrong to equate their relationship to a marriage.

 

What unique contributions does marriage between a man and woman make to society?

Marriage is the fundamental pattern for male-female relationships. It contributes to society because it models the way in which women and men live interdependently and commit to seek the good of each other. The marital union also provides the best conditions for raising children: namely, the stable, loving relationship of a mother and father present only in marriage. The state recognizes this relationship as a public institution in its laws because the relationship makes a unique and essential contribution to the common good.

 

MARRIAGE RULES TO BE OBSERVED

 

1. Remember that God joined you together in marriage.

“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. … So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:5, 6).

 

2. Guard your thoughts.

“As he thinks in his heart, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7).

“You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife” (Exodus 20:17).

“Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life” (Proverbs 4:23).

“Whatever things are true … noble … just … pure … lovely … of good report … meditate on these things” (Philippians 4:8).

 

3. Never go to bed angry with one another.

“Do not let the sun go down on your wrath” (Ephesians 4:26). “Confess your trespasses to one another” (James 5:16). “Forgetting those things which are behind” (Philippians 3:13).“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32)

 

4. Keep Christ in the center of your home.

“Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it” (Psalm 127:1). “In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths” (Proverbs 3:6).“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7).

 

5.Pray together.

“Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Matthew 26:41). “Pray for one another” (James 5:16). “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally” (James 1:5).

 

6. Agree that divorce is not the answer.

“What God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6).

“Whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery” (Matthew 19:9). “The woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives” (Romans 7:2).

 

7. Keep the family circle closed tightly.

“You shall not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14). “The heart of her husband safely trusts her. … She does him good and not evil all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:11, 12). “The Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously” (Malachi 2:14). “Keep you from the evil woman. … Do not lust after her beauty in your heart, nor let her allure you with her eyelids. Can a man take fire to his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? … So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife; whoever touches her shall not be innocent” (Proverbs 6:24, 25, 27, 29).

 

8.God describes love; make it your daily goal to measure up.

“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:4–7).

 

 

 

 

9. Remember that criticism and nagging destroy love.

“Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them” (Colossians 3:19). “Better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman” (Proverbs 21:19). “A continual dripping on a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike” (Proverbs 27:15).

“Why do you look at the speck [splinter] in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank [whole board] in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3).

“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself” (1 Corinthians 13:4).

 

10. Do not overdo in anything; be temperate.

“Everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things” (1 Corinthians 9:25). “Love … does not seek its own [selfish advantage]” (1 Corinthians 13:4, 5). “Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31). “I discipline my body and bring it into subjection” (1 Corinthians 9:27).

“If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat” (2 Thessalonians 3:10).

“Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled” (Hebrews 13:4). “Do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts, and do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin” (Romans 6:12, 13).

 

11.Respect each other's personal rights and privacies.

“ Love suffers long and is kind; … Love does not envy … does not behave rudely, does not seek its own [in selfishness] … does not rejoice in iniquity … believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:4–7). “Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another” (Romans 12:10).

 

12. Be clean, modest, orderly, and dutiful.

“In like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel” (1 Timothy 2:9). “She … willingly works with her hands. … She also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household. … She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness” (Proverbs 31:13, 15, 27). “Be clean” (Isaiah 52:11).

“Let all things be done decently and in order” (1 Corinthians 14:40).

“If anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Timothy 5:8). “Do not become sluggish [lazy]” (Hebrews 6:12).

 

13. Determine to speak softly and kindly.

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). “Live joyfully with the wife whom you love” (Ecclesiastes 9:9). “When I became a man, I put away childish things” (1 Corinthians 13:11).

 

14. Be reasonable in money matters.

“Love does not envy [is not possessive] … does not behave rudely, does not seek its own [selfish advantage]” (1 Corinthians 13:4, 5).

“God loves a cheerful giver” (2 Corinthians 9:7).

 

15. Talk things over freely with one another.

“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up” (1 Corinthians 13:4).

“He who disdains instruction despises his own soul” (Proverbs 15:32).

“Do you see a man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him” (Proverbs 26:12).